The manager of our guest house in Dharamsala was Kashmiri and invited us (and some other guests) to join him back in Kashmir for his brothers wedding. This was not the sort of experience we were going to turn down. Our three-car convoy set off from Dharamsala at 5 am for the long drive up to the valley. There were three other foreigners with us, as well as our host and some family friends making the trip up. The drive was amazing as we climbed the steep mountain side to go over the pass into the Kashmir valley. The Kashmir valley itself was beautiful. There were so many old trees and their leaves were changing color with the advancing winter.
We were also surrounded by apple orchards and got to try some tasty fresh apples right off the tree.
We stayed with the groom's family and were heartily welcomed into the celebrations with some tea and pastries.
We didn't have the clothes for cold weather but the groom's mother soon got us kitted out like the locals! We all got to wear a "pheran" - a long loose gown made of thick tweed, which kept us toasty warm in the chilly Kashmiri air.
Most of the older men and women carry around a "kangri" under their pherans. A Kangri is a small wicker fire pot that is filled with hot coals and works like a personal space heater inside the pheran.
Both the bride and the grooms families had erected marquees in their gardens and had a team of cooks preparing the feast on some impromptu wood-fired stoves (while smoking the nargile).
The wedding itself lasts two or three days with various rituals completed by the bride with her family and the groom with his. On the groom's side, there was dancing, singing, and gift-giving over the course of two days.
We joined the family for a banquet meal in the marquee. Lotus root, chicken, and lamb were served on an enormous platter of rice and additional lamb delicacies were served while we ate. Women and men were separated on opposite sides of the tent and four people sit around each plate eating with their hands. As you can imagine, for the unpracticed it can be quite messy.
On the day of the wedding itself, the groom awaits a signal from the bride's family that she is ready. He receives gifts from the guests and an herbal bath before dressing in a traditional suit ready to make the journey to fetch his bride.
The groom departs for the bride's house and is accompanied part of the way by all the women of his family singing. He makes the final part of the journey with two people of his choice as witnesses and waits for his bride to be presented to him.
We were lucky enough to be able to squeeze into the bride's house to see the final ceremony before she meets her future husband. The bride's brother had gotten married the previous day so we actually got to see two brides - not often you can say that! Once the bride is ready she is lead down to a room where all of the guests were waiting to admire her. There are final songs and dancing, but on this side more mournful than happy - the bride was upset to be leaving her family and all the married women around seemed to remember this moment in their own lives.
Some time later, the bride and groom were driven back, with the brides dowry on the top of the car. She was then lead into the marquee on the groom's side. The women were singing to her and the groom's mother performed a ceremony to welcome her into the family. Once completed, she was lead indoors to have tea with her new family. The singing and dancing continued into the wee hours.
The wedding was an experience I don't think either of us will ever forget, an amazing addition to our trip around the world! We have three more days in Kashmir before returning to Delhi for our flight to Bangkok so we're off to explore the mountains before heading down to Srinagar, the capital of Kashmir.
Loved it !!!!
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